you live, you learn

Kayode and I have been together for 8 months, and through this relationship, I’ve learned how quick I am to argue, and also how I can shutdown completely turning into an ice cold block of ice. He says or does something I don’t like, immediately the fists clench up and I put ‘em up; the said symbolic fist activity is really either asking him a bunch a questions to escalate the situation or me not saying anything at all, with thoughts such as these bouncing from one side of my head to the next: “Man, he just annoyed the hell out of me”, “I’m not made for this ishhhhhh”, and the favorite, “It’s over”. I end up writing him an email, expressing all my sentiments, whereas on the phone I had said that I wasn’t mad. Good thing is that he’s a humble dude, and he reflects on what he said or did, and writes me an equally long apology using fancy vocabulary such as “pang of hurt”.

I’m learning to trust that he wishes me the best in a similar way that my family does. A few days ago, I told him about something that I had been keeping to myself (when I do such things I tend to look away or occupy myself with something else simultaneously), and when I finally looked at him, I found that his face was marked by a pained expression as if my ordeal was his own as well. I guess, I can now say that I trust that he sees us as a team; it would always perplex me when he would refer to his apartment as “home” As in, “Are you coming home? Or “The next time you come home, we will…”

When we talk about the future, there is an assumption that we will both be in it together. We have friendly spats about the fact that if he makes a good fortune for himself, he wants a gardener, a maid and a cook, and how I don’t think we’d need a big house, so any extra help would be unnecessary. I’m learning not always to expect the worst, and to let certain things slide. For example, today is our 8 month anniversary. It’s corny, I guess, to count every month. We usually at least mention it, like "here goes another one. Hoorray!". But the man forgot! It’s no big deal, or maybe I should pretend I’m upset so he can buy me a smoothie. I’m not too hard to please;)

Maybe I’m writing about “us” to elaborate further on the simple “good” I usually give people that ask. And also, it’s important for me to reflect and analyze…yup he has to endure a lot of that too. I’m surprised that God has blessed me with, or maybe I shouldn’t be surprise since he’s God afterall, that He’s blessed me with someone so similar to me.

Awards time!

PassionFruit passed this on to me, and now I give it to:

Black.girl.thoughts

Unsystematic wanderings

EssenseVibez gave me this one

I dig these dudes:

RocNaija--I'm hoping this will incite him to post again!;)

K.Michel

Yours truly,

Mama.

This post is all over the place

Hello blogosphere! It's been awhile, and I can honestly say I miss you guys. Did I tell you, I'm looking into graduate programs? I want to study Africana studies, and I finally found a school in Canada that offers it: York University. I applied this afternoon; now, I need to write a 1000 word thesis proposal, send in my academic transcripts and three references. So much to do, so little time.

Oh, the very talented and artistic ladies, Essense Vibez and Passion Fruit, both left me awards on their blog! Many thanks once again; I shall pass them on in my next post!

Anywho, all that school stuff aside, I spent a good day with K on friday. We watched Kirikou, an African movie; it's really good and loaded with morals. Kirikou is one of the cutest cartoon kids I've seen. It's in French, but there are subtitles, if you want to check it out!

In other news, in my H.I.V course, I was informed about Uganda's anti-homosexuality bill of which draft was passed on Oct.14. One can be sentenced to life imprisonment for being gay, and you can also be imprisoned if you know that someone is homosexual and chose not to report them to the authorities. There are so many good things about Africa as a whole, but these days, I hear disappointing news everyday. Here's to change!

One last thing, I need your help! As I wrote a few posts ago, I'm organising an Aids awareness night. In order for Naya and I to determine how to deliver and construct the information for that night, we need your much appreciated input. As a coworker of mine pointed out to me yesterday, we learn about H.I.V and other STDs in school--I'm speaking from a Montreal /Canadian context. Yet, despite the information available, H.I.V is still being spread. Why is that? How do I get the message across in a way that our Sex.Ed classes didn't? What would you like to know about H.I.V/Aids? In your opinion, are there risk groups? i.e people more at risk to get infected? Any help is appreciated; if you don't want to post your comments here, you can certainly send me an email at magdalene_a@hotmail.com. Thanks a lot!

Yours truly,
Mama.

All in black

I messed around with these pics with some editing program ;)

Harem jumpsuit: I forgot, my bad
Boots: my sister
Photographer: my big bro


A pinch in the dark
by Yours truly;) Check it out!
Mama.

A pinch in the dark

Very short post to direct you all to a new short story I wrote for the short story section of Writer's cafe. Please tell me what you think!

A pinch in the dark

To all the Canadians out there, Happy Thanksgiving!

Yours truly,
Mama.

The real you, the real me

a pic from Di-A-Tribe's last show
God willing of course, our next performance will be Oct.24!

A coworker of mine read to me an excerpt from a novel that I have now forgotten the name, but it basically communicated the idea that once you show your true colors, your “entourage” will be disappointed, because,of course, they couldn't possible have been friends with someone as blemished-filled as you. They were bamboozled, and you are to blame. Basically, the demarcation between fake and real friends is then crystallized.

…which led to me jotting this down in my notebook instead of paying attention in Spanish class.

“All of us- we are caves. We are each the object of someone’s exploration. Shod into their rubber boots, these miners stumble upon gold and precious stones…arguably, that can be found in us all. But, once they hit the wrong spot, you can crumble all over them. Thus, the true nature of your relationship will shine through. Tell me, did they like what they saw? Or did they use their safety belt to escape you before all your crap spilt all over them?”

On another note, I feel bad that there are significant time gaps in between my posts. Time management is key, I guess. As I'm writing this, I am this close to crashing on top of my pc!

Exhausted, that I am.

yet still yours,

Mama.

Unripe bananas

Life after the fast has been one filled with bananas, not metaphorically, but actual bananas. My day is not complete without a banana or two or three. My preference for the ones without blemishes has led me towards the extra yellow ones, and oftentimes the greenish ones. Yes, I've stumbled upon an unripe banana or two, which isn't a pleasant thing at all. But, it did help me concoct this passage from a short story I'm in the midst of finishing. I'm entering a writing contest, and 6000$ is up for grabs. Needless to say, I really really want to win.

Context: The Mambibi is a river in Ntenako; legend has it that if a murderer or liar is to visit that river, he or she will die. Thierry is the protagonist's murderous uncle.

Soap duds

"Thierry didn’t believe in backward tradition, as he called it, so he accompanied me on my matinal walk along the Mambibi. In the span of two weeks, his body was invaded by gaping sores, his saliva was replaced by a thick matter as if he had eaten an unripe banana, and his eyes swelled shut; he breathed no more. As much as I’m like the river, I can no longer watch the ebb and flow of the waves. I am no murderer, but I lied, and this lie will reverberate all the days of my life."

What did she lie about? How is she like the Mambibi? Who is this girl? Why is the story called "Soap duds"? Unfortunatly, I can't publish the story in its entirety, since the contest is for unpublished work only. Even self-publishing via a personal blog disqualifies you. I guess after the winners are revealed, I'll post the story up here!

Yours truly,

Mama.

Pics and updates

the two above pics were taken by Kiki

I've been quite busy lately; school is killing me. I take on a lot of projects, and although my performance doesnt suffer (at least, I don't think it does), sleep surely does, which leads to horrible dark circles under my eyes. I'm excited about the Aids awareness night Naya and I are intending on doing for our internship. We're taking a course on H.I.V, and 30% of our grade comes from our internship. We're thinking live music, information and activities etc. and the proceeds would go towards providing anti-retroviral drugs to those in need through TASO, hopefully.

I had such a strange dream this morning; I knew I was meeting K at 5 pm, and as I looked at my cellphone for the time, three different times were given to me one after the other. When I woke up, I decided to read my Bible, and I opened it "randomly" to the Numbers chapter. I think those numbers mean something, I just don't know what...oh well!

Yours truly,

Mama.